Book Description
Sometimes childish, sometimes rude, always clever and always very, very funny, this book has delighted most, and outraged a few, Tolkien fans in the US for nearly 30 years. Pulling in references to popular culture and fantasy literature as a whole, this is a killingly effective parody of LORD OF THE RINGS. From the dreary Goddamn (Gollum), to the feckless Arrowroot (Aragorn), the bungling Goodgulf (Gandalf) to the timid, meanminded boggies Frito (Frodo) and Dildo (Bilbo), no character is safe. Fleeing the Nozdrul, bored by acid-casualty Tim Benzedrine and harrassed throughout by the minions of Sorhed, the fellowship move through a Middle Earth like no other. Short, sharp and very much to the point, even Tolkien would be hard-pressed to surpress a giggle at BORED OF THE RINGS.

Product Description
Here for the geek in all of us are fifty foolproof equations that take the guesswork out of life—and the funniest twist on an idea since Richard Smith’s The Dieter’s Guide to Weight Loss During Sex. Call it the algebra oracle: By plugging in the right variables, GEEK LOGIK answers life’s most persistent questions. It covers Dating and Romance, Career and Finance, and everyday decisions like Should I get a tattoo? Can I still wear tight jeans? Is it time to see a therapist? How many beers should I have at the company picnic?

How does it work? Take a simple issue that comes up once or twice a week: Should I call in sick? Fill in the variables honestly, such as D for doctor’s note (enter 1 for “no,” 10 for “yes,” and 5 for “yes, but it’s a forgery”), R for importance of job (1-10, with 10 being “personally responsible for Earth’s orbit around Sun”), Fj for how much fun you have at work (1-10, with 10 being “personal trainer for underwear models”), N for how much you need the money (1-10, with 10 being “I owe the mob”), then do the math, and voilà—if the product, Hooky, is greater than 1, enjoy your very own Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

Includes a pocket calculator so that prospective geeks can immediately solve the equation on the back cover: Should I buy this book?

Amazon.com
George Carlin's been working the crowd since "the counterculture" became "the over-the-counter culture" around 1967 or so; his new book, Brain Droppings, surfs on three decades of touring-in-support. It's the purest version of book-as-candy that one could imagine, serving up humor in convenient, bite-sized packages. Snack on chewy one-liners like "A meltdown sounds like fun. Like some kind of cheese sandwich." Or: "If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten." Brain Droppings also contains highlights from Carlin's concert repertoire, and that more than makes up for the occasional spray of pointless nihilism. Tell us, George, what exactly were you going for with "Kill your pet" and "Satan is cool"? Quick--hide the paper before Daddy sees it! Still, if you're a fan of this sarcastic semanticist who's given Bad Attitude not necessarily a good name, but at least a comfy bank account, by all means rush out and snag Brain Droppings. Carlin's book melts in your mind, not in your hand.

Book Description
With nearly 20 albums, two Grammys, two Cable ACE awards, and more HBO specials sunder his belt than anyone else, George Carlin is more popular than ever. Now, for the first time, Carlin has prduced a book of original humor pieces, Brain Droppings. Filled with thoughts, musings, questions, lists, beliefs, curiousities, monologues, assertions, assumptions, and other verbal ordeals, Brian Droppings is infectiously funny. Also included are two timeless bonus items from the past, "A Place for Your Stuff" and "Baseball-Football."

Readers will get an inside look into Carlin's mind, and they won't be disappointed by what they find:

* I buy stamps by mail. It works OK until I run out of stamps.
* What year did Jesus Christ think it was?
* A tree: first you chop it down, then you chop it up.
* Have you ever noticed the lawyer is always smiling more than the client?
* I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.
* If you ever have chicken at lunch and chicken at dinner, do you ever wonder if the two chickens knew each other?

Product Description
So long, South Beach. Farewell, fat-free. Adieu, tofu. Retox is here to help bring back the good times and friends that fell by the wayside on that mind-numbing path to health and well-being. Putting the fun back in dysfunction, this antidote to detoxification calls out soul-searching, colon-cleansing, fasting, and fish oil. Broken down into informative chapters on all aspects of life from Diet to Grooming to Relationships to Career Retox goes where no book has gone before. It asks the tough questions such as: "When did irrigating one's bowels become a pastime of the rich and neurotic?" It offers tips on better loving while under the influence. It reveals exclusive Pretty Mess Makeover tips and much, much more! Far more effective than acupuncture, and not a total crock like reiki, Retox is designed to produce real change.

Product Description
The world's fastest-talking man teaches the world's greatest lessons. Includes audio CD, performed by John "Mighty Mouth" Moschitta.

Featuring a foreword by Thomas Jefferson, a Dress the Supreme Court layout, and, oddly enough, a profile of George "The Iceman" Gervin, America (The Book): A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction, from Jon Stewart and the writers of the Emmy Award-winning The Daily Show, is by far one the most irreverent and wittiest (and may we add smartest) political book you're likely to encounter. Amazon.com spoke with Jon Stewart a few days before the 2004 publication of America (The Book) and they discussed bald eagles, magical talking cats, Thor Heyerdahl, and much more

Amazon.com
If you think dating is a simple process--meet someone, ask him or her for a date or get asked out yourself, try not to come off as a drooling moron, then arrange to get together for a second date or cut your losses and work to meet someone else--well, lucky you. For many people, it's far more complicated than that, and Dr. Joy Browne addresses those complexities in Dating for Dummies. Exactly how do you meet a potential date? How do you present yourself in the most favorable light? How do you negotiate that first date? (One interesting story Browne tells is of a couple who negotiated a weekend together, deciding whether or not they'd have sex, and under what conditions they'd consider marriage and children--all before their first date.) And how do you proceed from there? The process still comes down to chemistry, but Browne shows how many ways there are to make sure you get your best possible chance with Mr./Ms. Right.

Book Description
Text for those who love punctuation and get upset when it is mishandled. Lively history makes a powerful case for the preservation of a system of printing conventions.

Download Description
"""You don't need to be a grammar nerd to enjoy this one...Who knew grammar could be so much fun?"" -Newsweek We all know the basics of punctuation. Or do we? A look at most neighborhood signage tells a different story. Through sloppy usage and low standards on the internet, in email, and now text messages, we have made proper punctuation an endangered species. In Eats, Shoots & Leaves, former editor Lynne Truss dares to say, in her delightfully urbane, witty, and very English way, that it is time to look at our commas and semicolons and see them as the wonderful and necessary things they are. This is a book for people who love punctuation and get upset when it is mishandled. From the invention of the question mark in the time of Charlemagne to George Orwell shunning the semicolon, this lively history makes a powerful case for the preservation of a system of printing conventions that is much too subtle to be mucked about with."

Amazon.com

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com
Lynne Truss is the pundit of pet peeves. She's taken on the ignorance of basic grammar with Eats, Shoots & Leaves, now she bravely rallies against the abysmal state of manners. And while she uses the Jerry Springer-esque phrase of 'talk to the hand' as her title, it's obvious she'd like to have snarkily dubbed it "Learn Some Effing Manners People!"--only she's too polite to do so. (It should be noted that while she's shocked by 6-year-olds using the f -word, she's hopeful that it's so overused that it'll soon sink into obsolescence.) To hammer across her points on politesse, Truss pulls quotations from an astonishing range of sources. Sociologist Erving Goffman is a favorite, but the Simpsons (of cartoon fame, not Jessica & Ashlee), Evelyn Waugh, and W.B. Yeats are also tapped. What her rant boils down to though is unsurprising: modern communication is at the root of rude behavior. Mobile phones and iPods have left us existing in our own little "bubble worlds," she says. "It used to be just CIA agents with earpieces…who regarded all the little people as irrelevant scum. Now it's nearly everybody." These self-produced bubbles make it easy for rudeness to rule. If someone forgets to hold a door or say "Thank you," it's because, Truss says, they're zoned out in their personal space, and will likely be offended if their lack of manners is pointed out. (The ruder the person, she says, the more easily offended.) Truss certainly earns many chuckles throughout her somewhat rambling musings, but her concern about society's decline is serious. To that end, she offers the words of Willy Loman's wife in Arthur Miller's most famous play on modern-day morality (and we all remember what happens in its last act): "Attention must be paid."--Erica Jorgensen

A Note from Lynne Truss

Dear Amazon customer and fellow stickler,

There's an odd thing I'm finding about my new book, Talk to the Hand. The moment I start describing it to people ("Basically, it's about the rudeness of everyday life - "), they jump straight in with stories about all the rudeness they've encountered in the past ten years. When I was trying to tell people about punctuation, engaging their attention was a victory. Well, not this time. "And another thing!" they say, banging the table. "What about cell phones? What about cold callers?" I make a feeble stab at outlining my six good reasons to stay home and bolt the door, also my theory of the alienation of modern life, which is that fundamentally we expect to be met half-way in our dealings with strangers and are continually shocked that this courtesy no longer pertains - but who am I kidding? I never get further than the first good reason (the decline of "please", "thank you", and "excuse me") because people are agreeing so vehemently, and I'm saying "Absolutely" and "You're right" and "Actually, some of this is in the book." The thing is: there is nothing original in being against rudeness. Everyone is against rudeness. In fact, very, very rude people object to it strongly. But why does it matter to us so much? Are we so scared of other people? Why do we spend so much of our time saying, "Oh, that's so RUDE"? All I can say is, you could find out from reading the book! But if you'd rather not, best wishes to all sticklers.

Your special pal,

Lynne Truss

The Lynne Truss Collection

Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation

Eats, Shoots & Leaves: 2006 Calendar

Making the Cat Laugh

Book Description
“Talk to the hand, ’cause the face ain’t listening,” the saying goes.

When did the world stop wanting to hear? When did society become so thoughtless? It’s a topic that has been simmering for years, and Lynne Truss says it’s now reached the boiling point. Taking on the boorish behavior that for some has become a point of pride, Talk to the Hand is a rallying cry for courtesy. Like Eats, Shoots & Leaves, Talk to the Hand is not a stuffy guidebook, and is sure to inspire spirited conversation.

Why hasn’t your nephew ever thanked you for your carefully selected gift? What makes your contractor think it’s fine to snub you in the midst of a major renovation? Why do crowds spawn selfishness? What accounts for the appalling treatment you receive in stores (if you’re lucky enough to get a clerk’s attention at all)? Most important, what will it take to roll back a culture that applauds those who are disrespectful? In a recent U.S. survey, 79 percent of adults said that lack of courtesy was a serious problem. For anyone who’s fed up with the brutality inflicted by modern manners (or lack thereof), Talk to the Hand is a colorful call to arms—from the wittiest defender of the civilized world.

Praise for Lynne Truss's #1 New York Times bestseller Eats, Shoots and Leaves:

“If Lynne Truss were Roman Catholic I’d nominate her for sainthood.”
—Frank McCourt, author of Angela’s Ashes and ’Tis

“Ms. Truss's witty analysis and fussbudget tactics” are “contagious.”
—Janet Maslin, The New York Times

"Her scholarship is impressive and never dry."
—Edmund Morris, The New York Times Book Review

"Truss brings a droll sensibility to that driest of topics […] She's a reformer with the soul of a stand-up comedian."
—Jan Freeman, Boston Sunday Globe

"You can't help but be seduced by Truss's passion."
—Mary Ambrose, Boston Sunday Globe

Download Description
"""Talk to the hand, 'cause the face ain't listening,"" the saying goes. When did the world stop wanting to hear? When did society become so thoughtless? It's a topic that has been simmering for years, and Lynne Truss says it's now reached the boiling point. Taking on the boorish behavior that for some has become a point of pride, Talk to the Hand is a rallying cry for courtesy. Like Eats, Shoots & Leaves, Talk to the Hand is not a stuffy guidebook, and is sure to inspire spirited conversation. Why hasn't your nephew ever thanked you for your carefully selected gift? What makes your contractor think it's fine to snub you in the midst of a major renovation? Why do crowds spawn selfishness? What accounts for the appalling treatment you receive in stores (if you're lucky enough to get a clerk's attention at all)? Most important, what will it take to roll back a culture that applauds those who are disrespectful? In a recent U.S. survey, 79 percent of adults said that lack of courtesy was a serious problem. For anyone who's fed up with the brutality inflicted by modern manners (or lack thereof), Talk to the Hand is a colorful call to arms-from the wittiest defender of the civilized world. "

Book Description
Another Inevitable Mini-Jumbo Compendium of Hellish Cartoons by Child-At-Heart Matt Groening, author of Love Is Hell, Work Is Hell, School Is Hell, etc., etc., etc.

This pint-size yet chunky cartoon book contains dozens of zany, daffy, downright insolent comic strips-specially designed to be read under the covers late at night with a secret flashlight and a bowl of ice cream for nourishment. Don't let Mom catch you.

Childhood Is Hell is jam-packed with 48 of the wittiest and weirdest cartoons from Matt Groening's syndicated "Life in Hell" "RM" comic strip (seen weekly in the hippest newspapers from coast to coast). Not only do you get all 25 chapters of the painfully funny "Childhood Is Hell" maxiseries, you also get a whole bunch more bonus cartoons -- at practically no apparent added cost. Childhood Is Hell may not be all that cute and cuddly, but its peculiar insights could save you thousands of dollars in annoying therapy bills, as well as convulse you with childlike laughter and merriment.

Amazon.com
Stupid White Men, Michael Moore's screed against "Thief-in-Chief" George Bush's power elite, hit No. 1 at Amazon.com within days of publication. Why? It's as fulminating and crammed with infuriating facts as any right-wing bestseller, as irreverent as The Onion, and as noisily entertaining as a wrestling smackdown. Moore offers a more interesting critique of the 2000 election than Ralph Nader's Crashing the Party (he argued with Nader, his old boss, who sacked him), and he's serious when he advocates ousting Bush. But Moore's rage is outrageous, couched in shameless gags and madcap comedy: "Old white men wielding martinis and wearing dickies have occupied our nation's capital.... Launch the SCUD missiles! Bring us the head of Antonin Scalia!... We are no longer [able] to hold free and fair elections. We need U.N. observers, U.N. troops." Moore's ideas range from on-the-money (Arafat should beat Sharon with Gandhi's nonviolent shame tactics) to over-the-top: blacks should put inflatable white dolls in their cars so racist cops will think they're chauffeurs; the ever-more-Republicanesque Democratic Party should be sued for fraud; "no contributions toward advancing our civilization ever came out of the South [except Faulkner, Hellman, and R.J. Reynolds]," because it's too hot to think straight there; Korean dictator Kim Jong-il "has got to broaden himself beyond porn and John Wayne" by watching better movies, like Dude, Where's My Car? (which contains "all you need to know about America"). Whatever your politics, Stupid White Men should make you blow your stack. --Tim Appelo

Book Description
In The Dilbert Principle and current bestseller Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook, Scott Adams skewers the absurdities of today's corporate world. Now he takes the next step, turning his keen analytical focus on how human greed, stupidity and horniness will shape the future.

With this book, Adams follows in the footsteps of other great futurists, i.e., sitting at home making stuff up that can't be proven wrong for many years. Featuring the same mix of essays and cartoons that made The Dilbert Principle so uniquely entertaining, The Dilbert Future offers predictions on business, technology, society and government. Nobody is spared this time. Some predictions:

Children: They are our future, so we're pretty much hosed. Tip: Grab what you can while they're still too little to stop us.

Human Potential: We'll finally learn to use the 90 percent of the brain we don't use today, and find out that there wasn't anything in that part.

Longevity: We'll all live to 140. The Olympics will expand to include new events such as Complaining and Slow Driving.

Computers: Technology and homeliness will combine to form a powerful type of birth control.

Amazon.com
Move over, Faith Popcorn! Cartoonist Scott Adams is back in book form, and this time he gives Dilbert and his cronies a free hand to forecast the trends that just might drive business and society during the next millennium. In typical Adams fashion, The Dilbert Future: Thriving on Stupidity in the 21st Century serves up a series of laugh-out-loud predictions on technology, marketing, work, jobs, gender relations, and even the future of democracy and capitalism.